Karla's Salvation Testimony

On November 25, 2007 at 19 years of age,
during the invitation after the morning's sermon was
preached I knelt down where I was sitting. I was in tears and I
couldn't help it. I knew that I wasn't and hadn't been a 100% sure
that I was going to Heaven. I had been struggling with this on and
off since I came back to live with my Dad in 2004. But, I would always
push it to the back of my mind and say oh it's not possible I am
supposed to be saved. But, I could never really remember a change or
if I really had meant it. One time in talking with my Dad about it, he
asked me if I had ever had any of my prayers answered and well, I
couldn't ever remember, even though I thought there had been some answered.

And there were times when I would think when I get saved or if I get
saved and then I would say what! I am already saved. I couldn't
understand why I had thoughts like that since I was supposed to be
saved. When a thought came to mind of whether I wasn't sure if I was
really saved I would push it to the back of my mind, so I wouldn't
think of it.I sometimes would feel empty.(although a real christian can feel empty if they aren't reading God's words or they are backslidden)

In May, I listened to The Revival Hymn and I remember a preacher say
'Are you saved tonight?' and the story of this woman saying"Is there
mercy for me, is there mercy for me?". Listening to it the doubt of my
salvation came but, I pushed it away.

Then even more recently I had started to doubt a little more and more
often.I had been readin a book on dispensationalism and it was talking
about the weeping and gnashing of teeth and it really scared me. Then
I happened to read it in my daily Bible readin 2 or 3 times and I
thought what is going on here. How can I be reading it at the same
time I had read it in the dispensational book? I stopped thinking of
it so much because it scared me. Then I eventually started praying,
'Lord, I need to know whether I am saved or lost. If I am saved I
need You to give me assurance of it and if I am lost I need You to
show me that I am lost and dying and going to Hell. I don't want to
play games with You. And if I am lost and get saved I want it to be
real and for there to be a change, a real change. I want to really
mean it this time if I am lost. Please, don't let me die without
knowing for sure, so that if I am lost so that I can get saved."


I usually iron shirts for my Dad on Mondays, so when I would iron I
would usually listen to something over the Internet or music on the
computer.So, since I wanted an answer I made my self listen to sermons
that sounded like they would be good and that God would use them to
show me if I was lost or not. I listened to an evangelist's messages
and he would always ask something along the lines of "Are you saved"?.
He may have asked it differently in his other sermons. Then I
listened to a message on there are lost people(members) in the church
by a pastor. I think that might not be the exact title. But, anyways,
the man got after it. I was crying and trying to iron at the same
time. He had said if you say you are only 99% sure and not 100% sure
then you are lost. He told of this woman where he had been part of the
I think it was a two week tent revival there at her church and how she
would bake them(the preachers) goodies and give it to them and that
her and her husband were so sweet. She had been the presidebt of her
youth group when she was in her teens. Now, she was much older maybe
50 or older, could be 70's possibly. Anyways, he saw her on her knees
and he thought maybe she was upset over a family member, but what had
happened was that God had said this is the last time I am calling you
to get saved. This woman didn't want that last chance to be passed up,
gone forever. Well, yesterday when pastor said something along the
lines of ' For some it could be the last times Jesus passes by and for
you to get saved.'

During the service I was struggling again. When I heard him say that
it made me think of how what if from all my pleas of asking God not to
let me die until I knew for certain whether I was going to Heaven or
not and if I wasn't then for me to get saved that He got so tired of
me saying that, that He just gave up on me and turned His back on me.
What if I got in the car this time and I died.(I had the thought
before of dying in a car wreck, but would push it away b/c I didn't
want to think of that thought). And things were coming to mind of
there never being a change, of when I get saved, and other things and
I remembered what that pastor said about only 99% sure and that if I
wasn't 100% that I wasn't saved and that I wasn't going to Heaven, but
Hell. And it hit me that I needed to do something about it.

So, when I got on my knees and knelt at the pew I told God that I knew
I was a sinner, that I wanted to be in Heaven with him even though I didn't deserve to.
And as I was praying it hit me that I had lusted and lied. That I wasn't going to Heaven and that I had been
struggling for so long and I didn't want these doubts or struggle
anymore. I didn't want another day to go by not knowing. That I wanted
to be washed white as snow. That I wanted it to be real this time(not another false profession).That I had broken all of His great laws.
And again I told Him that I was a sinner and then I asked Him to
forgive me of my sins and that I was sorry. I told Him I wanted Him to
be my Lord and Saviour and that I wanted Him to save me.

Praise the Lord!


Now For Him only,
Karla

P.S. In case any of you don't know. I had made a profession at 6 or 7
years old, then realized I couldn't remember anything said I was lost
made a profession at 13. And that day when I thought I had thought I
Got saved at 13 there never was a change. When someone
Congratulated me about it that time I didn't know what they were talking
About til they told me and I was just like oh thanks. Not much but a
Passing thing to me. But, Now there is a change and a difference.